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Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

What's your favourite Monty Python Quote? Laughing

Oh God I have many to choose from? Wink

Ah well here is one to start you off guys. Very Happy

(an easy one) Laughing

Your Mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elder-berries? Very Happy

Well not easy really.HA!
I can now visualise some people putting on their dvd's and seeing where this quote is, in which film.
SO COME ON GUYS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ARE THERE ANY PYTHON FANS OUT THERE,
Good luck.
Just quote your favourite...quote from any Python sketch Very Happy

Here's another............"This is an ex parrot" Very Happy

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Were no sissy's.......were "Ruffy Tuffy Rough Riders"
DENISE DINN LARRICK & CHARLIE BOY, WALK ON WATER

Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject:

You're quote was the Holy Grail!

"We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'."

"Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv' "
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Rachel
RCCGB Membership Number 2210a

Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:50 pm Post subject:

Splitters!

We are the Knights that say nee!

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: .... I got better.
Crowd: Burn her anyway!

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say...”Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: F**k off! We're the People's Front of Judea

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".
Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!"

And now for something completely different!!
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Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject:

Grim Reaper: I AM DEATH!
Guest: Well, that's cast a gloom over the evening...
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Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:56 pm Post subject:

Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal?
Matthias: No.
Centurion: Crucifixion!
Matthias: Oh.
Centurion: Nasty, eh?
Matthias: Could be worse.
Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"?
Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed.
Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death.
Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.
Centurion: You're weird!
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Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:58 pm Post subject:

BRIAN:
How much? Quick.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What?
BRIAN:
It's for the wife.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Oh. Uhhh, twenty shekels.
BRIAN:
Right.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What?
BRIAN:
There you are.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Wait a minute.
BRIAN:
What?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Well, we're-- we're supposed to haggle.
BRIAN:
No, no. I've got to get--
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What do you mean, 'no, no, no'?
BRIAN:
I haven't time. I've got--
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Well, give it back, then.
BRIAN:
No, no, no. I just paid you.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Burt!
BURT:
Yeah?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
This bloke won't haggle.
BURT:
Won't haggle?!
BRIAN:
All right. Do we have to?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, look. I want twenty for that.
BRIAN:
I-- I just gave you twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, are you telling me that's not worth twenty shekels?
BRIAN:
No.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Look at it. Feel the quality. That's none of your goat.
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you nineteen then.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no. Come on. Do it properly.
BRIAN:
What?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Haggle properly. This isn't worth nineteen.
BRIAN:
Well, you just said it was worth twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Ohh, dear. Ohh, dear. Come on. Haggle.
BRIAN:
Huh. All right. I'll give you ten.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
That's more like it. Ten?! Are you trying to insult me?! Me, with a poor dying grandmother?! Ten?!
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you eleven.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now you're gettin' it. Eleven?! Did I hear you right?! Eleven?! This cost me twelve. You want to ruin me?!
BRIAN:
Seventeen?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no, no. Seventeen.
BRIAN:
Eighteen?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no. You go to fourteen now.
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you fourteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Fourteen?! Are you joking?!
BRIAN:
That's what you told me to say.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Ohh, dear.
BRIAN:
Ohh, tell me what to say. Please!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Offer me fourteen.
BRIAN:
I'll give you fourteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
He's offering me fourteen for this!
BRIAN:
Fifteen!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Seventeen. My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead.
BRIAN:
Sixteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Done. Nice to do business with you.
BRIAN:
Huh.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Tell you what. I'll throw you in this as well.
BRIAN:
I don't want it, but thanks.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Burt!
BURT:
Yeah?
BRIAN:
All right! All right! All right!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, where's the sixteen you owe me?
BRIAN:
I just gave you twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Oh, yeah. That's right. That's four I owe you, then.
BRIAN:
Well, that's all right. That's fine. That's fine.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No. Hang on. I've got it here somewhere.
BRIAN:
That's all right. That's four for the gourd.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Four? For this gourd? Four?! Look at it. It's worth ten if it's worth a shekel.
BRIAN:
But you just gave it to me for nothing.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Yes, but it's worth ten!
BRIAN:
All right. All right.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no, no. It's not worth ten. You're supposed to argue, 'Ten for that? You must be mad!' Ohh, well. [sniff] One born every minute.
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Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:59 pm Post subject:

Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
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RCCGB Membership Number 2210a

Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject:

Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
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Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject:

No one expected the Spanish inquisition!
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Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject:

We got the box set Very Happy

I have also got a great memory for films, I am one of these annoying people who quotes a film as it goes along.
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RCCGB Membership Number 2210a

Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject:

I have the DVD box set & watch it frequently!

Spam, spam, spam spam
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Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject:

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama
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Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:08 pm Post subject:

Wise Men: We are three wise men.
Brians Mum: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
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RCCGB Membership Number 2210a

Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject:

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
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Andy Hine MBE · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:13 pm Post subject:

Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
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Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

WOW!!
I AM WELL IMPRESSED Laughing

_________________
Were no sissy's.......were "Ruffy Tuffy Rough Riders"
DENISE DINN LARRICK & CHARLIE BOY, WALK ON WATER

Bunnie · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject:

"Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere. "

"Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then. "

"No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really"
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butler · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:34 am Post subject:

Ashley · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:59 pm Post subject:

Would Sir care for a wafer thin mint? (french accent)

krusty_the_clown · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 156

Number 1 - The LARCH

krusty_the_clown · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 156

Mr Boniface: ["It's the Mind: A Weekly Magazine of Things Psychiatric"] Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened tonight on "It's the Mind" we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've...
[looks puzzled]
Mr Boniface: Anyway, tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange -
["It's the Mind" opening titles again, then back to Mr Boniface, shaken]
Mr Boniface: Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we someti... mes get... that... we've lived through something -
["It's the Mind" opening titles again, then back to Mr Boniface, visibly shaken]
Mr Boniface: Good... good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of d-d-d-d-d-déjà v-v-v-v-v-vu. That extraordinary feeling... quite extraordinary...
[trails off; the phone rings and he picks it up]

krusty_the_clown · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 156

I vill not buy this *tobacconist*, it is sratched

David Ellis · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject:

"I'm Jesus of Nazareth...and so's my wife"

"I have a great friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus"

"and now for comthing completely different...a man with three buttocks"

"when you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best....and..."

altogether now.....
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World Record Holder Naked Coaster Rider

Death · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:27 am Post subject:

Hail All!

Darn...I've know that I've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail at least once, but I can't remember any of the decent stuff from it! Sad

Does anyone know of a way I could watch most of the Monty Python catalogue without having to go and buy DVD box sets or whatever? I'd love to do so, but I'm still having trouble scraping pennies together just to buy food at the moment! Shocked

Farewell, and thanks! Twisted Evil

>> Death <<

krusty_the_clown · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 156

*Nobody* expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our *three* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope. Our *four*... No... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, sur- I'll come in again.

Rough Rider · Hyper Poster Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 215

krusty_the_clown · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 156

....and nice red uniforms!!!

David Ellis · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:28 pm Post subject:

"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

"Brought peace."

here's a great line...

"Well, if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin?"

you can find the whole script here...
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian.htm#script

David.
_________________
World Record Holder Naked Coaster Rider

Nimmykins · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject:

Would you like a wafer thin mint?

B: We must fight against the common enemy.
Group: The Judean People's Front?
B: No, the Romans.
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RCCGB member - 2132

Plus four travelling coasters including Olympia Looping and Eurostar.

Jester · Site Admin Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 222

My Holy Grail Favourites (and Spamlot - come to that!)

Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an utonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in th