Death
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Points to ponder...Hail All! 
I was thinking of various things the other day (Well, what else is there to do on Boxing Day?  ) and came to the conclusion that life itself is so full of little ironies that are always amusing to mull over. Here's a bunch of mine that were inspired by a long read of a Viz annual.  
(I sent a copy of this post to Admin for checking a couple of days ago and they havn't said anything against it, so I'm assuming it's OK for the board.  )
If any of ye have a few amusing points to post, please post them here and share 'em with us all! 
(Sorry that mine are rather poor quality, but I'm typing this out at home whilst I'm very tired and can't really think straight!  )
Farewell, and enjoy!
>> Death <<
All of the following have been inspired by the Viz annual covering issues 106-111 (ISBN 0-7522-1584-1) published around September 2003CE or so. - Is it really a "Happy" Christmas if you're the poor soul who has to make the Xmas dinner?
- Is it truly a "Merry" Christmas if you're the designated driver for the day? After all, ye have to stay off of the alcohol so that ye can drive everyone home...And will be stone-cold sober as a result!
- If "Jazz" mags are considered inappropriate for reading in public, why on Earth can we find "Heavy Metal" and "Rap" mags in public Libraries? They deal with far stronger and more offensive forms of music, after all!
- If ham is packaged in a "protective" atmosphere, why does a most ungodly smell fill the room when the pack is opened?
- Are black cats really lucky for white mice?
- Dr. Harold Shipman received 15 life sentances for his crimes. Why should someone so evil be allowed to live for 450 years longer than us Law-abiding folk?
 - Why do Banks always offer us loans when we're financially stable, yet refuse to help us when we havn't got a penny to our names?
- If Her Majesty the Queen brings £10 million a year into the country, why don't we turn all of the Unemployed into Monarchs? As an unemployed person myself, I certainly wouldn't object to such a plan!
- How on Earth can Ikea justify charging that much for their furniture when they're too lazy to construct it themselves?
- If the Third Reich were such white supremists, why did they dress all of their superior officers in black?
- Why do charities spend so much money sending us letters with pens in when the money would surely be better spent on the causes that they support?
- If I can't think straight for whatever reason, does that make me temporarily gay?
 - If one can legally make love at the age of sixteen, why do ye have to be over 18 to buy a pornographic DVD?
- Ditto the above question for Abbatoir employees (Minimum age 14 for certain roles) and Gore films?
- Raymond Blanc says that preparing food is an act of love. Given that he runs a resturant and does it for money, doesn't that make him a prostitute?
- Why do boy-racers spend thousands of Pounds tuning and upgrading their cars to allow them to do 0-60 in 1.5 secs, then only drive them through town centres at a pitiful 5mph?
- My local Ladbrokes has a sign that says "Open every Sunday: 11-5". I know for a fact that they're open on Sunday afternoons, so why won't they accept my bet?
- If a car can be modified to allow a disabled driver to use it safely, why don't they research similar modifications for drunk drivers?
- If a fortune-teller is neither a good nor a bad one, is she a medium?
- Can anyone think of a use for multi-purpose compost, other than for growing plants in?
- If heat rises, how come the top of Mount Everest is so flippin' cold?
- There's no such thing as a free lunch? Rubbish! One of my mates is on the Dole, and his kids get free dinners.
- They say that it's best to avoid the Xmas rush by shopping early. So how come the shops were as busy as ever when I did mine a full twelve months in advance?
- Many people say that "You are what you eat". Given that I'm a person, does that mean I was a cannibal at one point?
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