| Archive for RCCGB FORUM Message Board for Members of the Roller Coaster Club of Great Britain to discuss club events and all things theme park related. |
| Rough Rider |
Monty Python?What's your favourite Monty Python Quote?
Oh God I have many to choose from? 
Ah well here is one to start you off guys.  (an easy one)
Your Mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elder-berries?
Well not easy really.HA! I can now visualise some people putting on their dvd's and seeing where this quote is, in which film. SO COME ON GUYS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ARE THERE ANY PYTHON FANS OUT THERE, Good luck. Just quote your favourite...quote from any Python sketch
Here's another............"This is an ex parrot"
|
||
| Bunnie |
You're quote was the Holy Grail!
"We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'." "Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv' " |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
Splitters!
We are the Knights that say nee! On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Bedevere: A newt? Peasant 3: .... I got better. Crowd: Burn her anyway! Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. Knight 2: NI. Other Knights: Shh... Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say...”Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm. Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front? Reg: F**k off! We're the People's Front of Judea He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers". Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers? Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products. Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly! All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!" And now for something completely different!! |
||
| Rough Rider |
SUPERB.....Bunnie.WOW! I didn't expect a fellow Python fan to answer so quickly.
Yet again a quote from.."Holy Grail" I really can't wait to see "SPAMALOT" in London
|
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
Grim Reaper: I AM DEATH!
Guest: Well, that's cast a gloom over the evening... |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal?
Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed. Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death. Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air. Centurion: You're weird! |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
BRIAN:
How much? Quick. HARRY THE HAGGLER: What? BRIAN: It's for the wife. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Oh. Uhhh, twenty shekels. BRIAN: Right. HARRY THE HAGGLER: What? BRIAN: There you are. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Wait a minute. BRIAN: What? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Well, we're-- we're supposed to haggle. BRIAN: No, no. I've got to get-- HARRY THE HAGGLER: What do you mean, 'no, no, no'? BRIAN: I haven't time. I've got-- HARRY THE HAGGLER: Well, give it back, then. BRIAN: No, no, no. I just paid you. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Burt! BURT: Yeah? HARRY THE HAGGLER: This bloke won't haggle. BURT: Won't haggle?! BRIAN: All right. Do we have to? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, look. I want twenty for that. BRIAN: I-- I just gave you twenty. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, are you telling me that's not worth twenty shekels? BRIAN: No. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Look at it. Feel the quality. That's none of your goat. BRIAN: All right. I'll give you nineteen then. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no. Come on. Do it properly. BRIAN: What? HARRY THE HAGGLER: Haggle properly. This isn't worth nineteen. BRIAN: Well, you just said it was worth twenty. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Ohh, dear. Ohh, dear. Come on. Haggle. BRIAN: Huh. All right. I'll give you ten. HARRY THE HAGGLER: That's more like it. Ten?! Are you trying to insult me?! Me, with a poor dying grandmother?! Ten?! BRIAN: All right. I'll give you eleven. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now you're gettin' it. Eleven?! Did I hear you right?! Eleven?! This cost me twelve. You want to ruin me?! BRIAN: Seventeen? HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no, no. Seventeen. BRIAN: Eighteen? HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no. You go to fourteen now. BRIAN: All right. I'll give you fourteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Fourteen?! Are you joking?! BRIAN: That's what you told me to say. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Ohh, dear. BRIAN: Ohh, tell me what to say. Please! HARRY THE HAGGLER: Offer me fourteen. BRIAN: I'll give you fourteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER: He's offering me fourteen for this! BRIAN: Fifteen! HARRY THE HAGGLER: Seventeen. My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead. BRIAN: Sixteen. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Done. Nice to do business with you. BRIAN: Huh. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Tell you what. I'll throw you in this as well. BRIAN: I don't want it, but thanks. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Burt! BURT: Yeah? BRIAN: All right! All right! All right! HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, where's the sixteen you owe me? BRIAN: I just gave you twenty. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Oh, yeah. That's right. That's four I owe you, then. BRIAN: Well, that's all right. That's fine. That's fine. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No. Hang on. I've got it here somewhere. BRIAN: That's all right. That's four for the gourd. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Four? For this gourd? Four?! Look at it. It's worth ten if it's worth a shekel. BRIAN: But you just gave it to me for nothing. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Yes, but it's worth ten! BRIAN: All right. All right. HARRY THE HAGGLER: No, no, no, no. It's not worth ten. You're supposed to argue, 'Ten for that? You must be mad!' Ohh, well. [sniff] One born every minute. |
||
| Bunnie |
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood? Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood? Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her. |
||
| Rough Rider |
The Meaning of Life
The best part was when someone said ..." But I didn't eat the moose"
|
||
| Bunnie |
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh. Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! Sir Robin: I soiled my armor I was so scared! Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! |
||
| Rough Rider |
Well done guys....................What agreat topic and FUN.Didn't expect such a good response 
Oh by the way...............................Holy Grail Quote
|
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
No one expected the Spanish inquisition! | ||
| Rough Rider |
Just thought????? How do you you know the script word for word? WOW! That's some fan
|
||
| Bunnie |
We got the box set
I have also got a great memory for films, I am one of these annoying people who quotes a film as it goes along. |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
I have the DVD box set & watch it frequently!
Spam, spam, spam spam |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, Just like my dear Mama |
||
| Bunnie |
Wise Men: We are three wise men.
Brians Mum: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me. |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch. Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! |
||
| Andy Hine MBE |
Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still. | ||
| Rough Rider |
WOW!!
I AM WELL IMPRESSED
|
||
| Bunnie |
"Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere. "
"Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then. " "No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really" |
||
| butler |
What you do in your spare time is entirely up to you. |
||
| Ashley |
Would Sir care for a wafer thin mint? (french accent) | ||
| krusty_the_clown |
Number 1 - The LARCH | ||
| krusty_the_clown |
Mr Boniface: ["It's the Mind: A Weekly Magazine of Things Psychiatric"] Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened tonight on "It's the Mind" we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we sometimes get that we've...
[looks puzzled] Mr Boniface: Anyway, tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange - ["It's the Mind" opening titles again, then back to Mr Boniface, shaken] Mr Boniface: Good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu, that strange feeling we someti... mes get... that... we've lived through something - ["It's the Mind" opening titles again, then back to Mr Boniface, visibly shaken] Mr Boniface: Good... good evening. Tonight on "It's the Mind", we examine the phenomenon of d-d-d-d-d-déjà v-v-v-v-v-vu. That extraordinary feeling... quite extraordinary... [trails off; the phone rings and he picks it up] |
||
| krusty_the_clown |
I vill not buy this *tobacconist*, it is sratched | ||
| David Ellis |
"I'm Jesus of Nazareth...and so's my wife"
"I have a great friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus" "and now for comthing completely different...a man with three buttocks" "when you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best....and..." altogether now..... |
||
| Death |
Hail All! 
Darn...I've know that I've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail at least once, but I can't remember any of the decent stuff from it! 
Does anyone know of a way I could watch most of the Monty Python catalogue without having to go and buy DVD box sets or whatever? I'd love to do so, but I'm still having trouble scraping pennies together just to buy food at the moment! 
Farewell, and thanks!
>> Death << |
||
| krusty_the_clown |
*Nobody* expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our *three* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope. Our *four*... No... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, sur- I'll come in again. | ||
| Rough Rider |
Brill Bazza
|
||
| krusty_the_clown |
....and nice red uniforms!!! | ||
| David Ellis |
"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
"Brought peace." here's a great line... "Well, if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin?" you can find the whole script here... http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian.htm#script David. |
||
| Nimmykins |
Would you like a wafer thin mint?
B: We must fight against the common enemy. Group: The Judean People's Front? B: No, the Romans. |
||
| Jester |
My Holy Grail Favourites (and Spamlot - come to that!)
Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead! CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! MORTICIAN: He isn't. CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment. MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations. DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. MORTICIAN: I can't take him... DEAD PERSON: I feel fine! CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor... MORTICIAN: I can't. CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today. CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round? MORTICIAN: Thursday. DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do? DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop] CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday. ARTHUR: Old woman! DENNIS: Man! ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old! ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'. DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'. ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.' DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked-- DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior! ARTHUR: Well, I AM king... DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress-- WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do? ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? WOMAN: King of the who? ARTHUR: The Britons. WOMAN: Who are the Britons? ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king. WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an utonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-- WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would-- ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? WOMAN: No one live there. ARTHUR: Then who is your lord? WOMAN: We don't have a lord. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR: Yes. DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. ARTHUR: Yes, I see. DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,-- ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more-- ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is? ARTHUR: I am your king! WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you. ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings. WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away! ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up! DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed! ARTHUR: Bloody peasant! DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you? GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis? ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Who's castle is this? GUARD: This is the castle of Our Master Ruiz' de lu la Ramper (sp?) ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen... Um, he's already got one, you see? ARTHUR: What? GALAHAD: He says they've already got one! ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one? GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice [aside] I told him we already got one. ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look? GUARD: Of course not! You are English types ARTHUR: Well, what are you then? GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king! GALAHAD: What are you doing in England? GUARD: Mind your own business! ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force! GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kniggets. GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man! GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! |
||
| Rough Rider |
"SUPERB"
|
||
| krusty_the_clown |
The Moderating team would like top remind all users that the discussion of illegal activities ie file sharing sites is strictly forbidden
Barry |
||
| Death |
Hail All!
 
After all: Last time we went to the vote, I chose our local Lib Dem representative, yet for some reason we've still got the same old Con representing my borough in Parlament...
Farewell...
>> Death << |
||
| USfriends |
Too many great quotes to cover them all
" Poke him with the soft cushions! " " Representing the extremely silly party... " " Its pronounced throat wobbler mangrove. " Sailors stranded in liferaft........" How long is it?...Thats a rather personal question." I seem to remember singing Python with Ryan somewhere in Pennsylvania. What song was it? |
||
| Rough Rider |
That's right Pete, we were doing karaoke.....and the song I chose us to sing was.."Sit on my face" Hilarious.
I think we should do another sing song this year in the States.
Especially with a shed full of dutch courage aboard after playing "WOBBLY HANDS" Ryan |
||
| USfriends |
Ah yes, it is all coming back to me now.
|
||
| Jester |
You can get cream from the Doctor for that! |
||
| USfriends |
The Python itch never goes away. 
|
||
| Jester |
Ah ... I see you have the incredibly expensive machine that goes 'Ping' | ||
| SatNav |
there's one from the spamalot song 'I'm All Alone'
Arthur: I'm all alone Patsy: Oh no you're not Arthur: So all alone Patsy: I'm here you twot Arthur: all by myself I'm all alone I believe i'm been brought up right way, resighting Monty Python where possible |